I kind of feel like Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye. When I first read that book I didn't understand why Holden couldn't just pick himself up. But it seems that I've taken off my rose colored glasses. What's the point to life? Don't get me wrong, I am not suicidal. But thinking about my future makes me depressed. And according to those around me, I have no reason to be depressed about my future. I'm a straight A student, heading towards a successful career.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so good at academics. If I wasn't so "scholarly" then I could slack off and there wouldn't be so much pressure on me. You see, I DON'T want to go to college, get a degree, get a job, get marries, pop out 2.5 kids, and die at 74. Everything is so systematic, like a factory. We're stuck in the industrial age and I don't want to be another product. 

There's also cultural pressure. I can already feel my parents trying to mold me into the perfect wife. I know that they would never force me to get married before 27, and that they would allow me a "love marriage" but I don't want the expectation of a marriage. I want to go on adventures and I want those adventures to continue through out my life. 

More on this subject later. I'm getting tired. What do you guys do to stay positive?